I will never forget
by romancegirl98
Summary: This is set after 11x02 after Tony found Ziva's necklace in his pocket...It is my version of what he writes in the letter to her...Maybe there will be a happy ending?
1. I will never forget

**This is just a little story that popped into my head. I know I actually write another story, but I was thinking about the latest episode and imagined what Tony could write…and this is the result…I hope you like it and please leave a review…**

**I don't know NCIS or the characters….**

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I will never forget

As he sits there with her necklace in his hands, Tony suddenly knows exactly what to write to her. He grabs his pen again and starts to write, not stopping for a long time. There are so many things he wants to tell her, so many thinks he wants her to remember. He was never good at expressing his feelings and emotions with words, but now his hand does not want to stop anymore. As he is finished, he does not bother to put his name under the text. She would know that it is from him. She would feel it.

As soon as the plane has landed, he search for the next mailbox and puts the letter in. There is no way that she would ever know how much she means to him, but this is a beginning. Without the expectation of her writing back to him, he leaves the airport and drives home.

Two weeks later, in the middle of nowhere in the Israeli desert, the same letter is deliver to the house where Tony has found Ziva. As soon as she removes the letter from the mailbox, tears begin to dwell in her eyes. She instantly recognises the handwriting and is taken back to the moment at the tarmac. The memories of saying goodbye to the only man she truly loves are present again and she slowly starts to regret her decision. She walks back into the house and sits down at the couch, where Tony sat some weeks ago and his voice filled the room. With shaky hands she opens the envelope and begins to read:

I Will

**_I will never forget…_**

**_I will never forget the feeling of your lips on mine…_**

**_I will never forget the tears in your eyes when we said goodbye…_**

**_I will never forget how hard it was to let you go…_**

**_I will never forget the feeling as I left you…_**

**_I will never forget the look in your eyes when you saw me in Somalia…_**

**_I will never forget the feeling as I thought I lost you...forever..._**

**_I will never forget your laughter, your smile and your jokes…_**

**_I will never forget your voice, your brown eyes and your soft skin…_**

**_I will never forget our trust, our friendship or our fun..._**

**_I will never forget Paris…or Berlin…_**

**_I will never forget the look you gave me when we danced together…_**

**_I will never forget our post-elevator us…_**

**_I will never forget you…_**

**_Ziva David, I will always have you with me and I'll wait for you no matter how long…_**

**_I will always love you…forever!_**

As Ziva finishes the letter, she cannot hold back her tears anymore and they roll down her cheek, onto the paper. She cannot believe what she has done and truly doubts her decision to let him go. She never knew how strong her feelings are, until she read the letter, moment ago. Right now she would give anything to feel his lips on hers again and to feel his strong arms wrapped around her body. She knows he does not expect her to answer the letter, but she has to. She wants to tell him how much he means to her, to make clear that there will never be another man she loves. He deserves to know…

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**That's it for now…I don't know if I should continue…what do you think? Please review!**


	2. True feelings

**I'm really sorry that it took me that long to update, but I really had a lot going on in school...homework, a project…I hope you understand and please forgive me…Normally I don't let you wait so long…my other story "Paris – the city of love" will also be updated soon…anyway this is the second and also last chapter for this story and there will be a happy ending…I just needed to write this because NCIS is no real NCIS without the tension between Tony and Ziva and I really miss Ziva on the show…I hope you like it and please let me know what you think…**

**Feel free to follow me on Twitter Jen_Calleigh…we need to #BringBackZiva**

**I don't own NCIS or any of the characters…because if I would everything would have happened in a different way…**

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True feelings

In Israel:

Immediately after she read Tony's letter, she searches for something to write. She manages to fish a pencil and a sheet of paper out of a drawer in the kitchen and then walks back to the sofa. For a very long time she just sits there, trying to figure out what to write. No words seem to be enough to explain her love for him. How much she needs him, how much she wants to feel his lips on hers, his strong arms wrapped around her and how much she wants to smell his fragrance again. By now, she has realized that her decision was wrong. In fact it has been the worst decision in her entire life. She never felt like that before and she knows that this feeling is unique. There is no second "love of your life". You only get the chance to be happy once in your lifetime and Ziva's chance is now. What she told Tony, that she needed to break apart from everything that reminds her of her old life, was simply an excuse. Now she realizes that she only achieves to be happy together with the man she send away two weeks ago…together with Tony…

Suddenly her hand moves automatically, but she only writes down three words. There is nothing else that can express what she wants him to know. Her hand draws the words she also said at the Tarmac, only in a different way…in a more specific and meaningful way. She is the first time in her life clear a about her feelings and she can finally say the words she always wanted.

**"Ani Ohevet Otcha"****אני אוהב אותך**

To strengthen the meaning of this words, she presses her mouth onto the paper, what leaves behind a print of her lips. She wants him to know that she truly means it.

In Washington D.C.: 

Tony is late for work – again – because he overslept, again. It's the third time this week and Gibbs is definitely going to kill him. Tony knows that, but it's just that since he left Ziva in Israel, it is hard to find any sense in going to work every day. Normally he was looking forward to see his "ninja", but now there is nobody there. Nobody except from Gibbs and McGee. Not that he wouldn't appreciate their presence, but it's just not the same. Tony quickly grabs his bag and his car keys. Just as he wants to open the door, he notices a white envelope laying on the ground. The mailman always shoves his letters through the door crack, so he is used to it. He has a no real mailbox, so he picks it up thinking it's just another bill. As soon as he holds the envelope in his hands, he recognises the handwriting and almost drops all his things. He would have never thought that he would get an answer, but now he is holding this letter in his hands and he can feel her presence. Although it hurts to be reminded that she is still in Israel, he is also relieved because the letter means that she is alive – at least she was when she sent the letter. He would like nothing better than to open it right now, but one look to the clock tells him that Gibbs is already killing him. Quickly he puts the letter into his chest pocket, steps out of the door and walks down to the front door.

On the drive to the headquarter, his thoughts orbit around the letter and what she might wrote. He has to keep himself from pulling over and opening the letter right there and then, but he knows better. Gibbs wouldn't accept such an excuse even if it has something to do with Ziva, so he drives as quickly as possible to make Gibbs's head slap as bearable as possible. All this still doesn't keep him from thinking about what he might read in the letter. _"I'll never come back again", "I'll come back soon" _or something totally different?

Tony is that lost in his thoughts, that at first he does not really realizes that he arrived at his designation. Suddenly a loud noise shrills and he comes back into reality. As he notices where he is, he quickly gets out and almost runs towards the elevator. Just as the elevator doors open and he is about to step in, Gibbs and McGee stands in front of him. Before he even realizes what is happening, he feels the familiar pain in the back of his head and the matching words: "You are late." Tony just turns around, glad that the punishment was that light, and walks to the car. He still hadn't had a chance to open the letter and it looks like there is none in sight. _This is going to be a long day, _he thinks to himself and gets into the car.

In the evening: 

Tony sits at his desk and Ziva's letter is laying in front of him. It is already dark outside and nobody is in the bullpen anymore. They've solved the case surprisingly quick, but nobody complains. It is better that having a case for weeks or even month, because you don't have a lead. Gibbs has sent them both home, but Tony said that he needed to do some paperwork. He knows that Gibbs is aware that he lied, but the boss didn't say anything. Even Gibbs has left an hour ago, but Tony still sits in the same position as one hour ago.

After ten more minutes, he finally has the courage to face whatever Ziva wrote. With shaky hands he slowly opens the envelope and takes out the folded sheet of paper. Tony carefully opens up the letter – afraid he might destroy something – and begins to read. He realizes that there are only three words written onto the paper, but they say everything. He instantly recognises the words, because they count among the words he learnt in Hebrew. At the second glance, he notices that there is a impression of a kiss below the written words and he cannot help but smile. Suddenly he has tears in his eyes and he cannot decide if he should be happy or sad. There are so many emotions right now, he is not able to control them anymore. He needs to think, he needs to be somewhere alone, somewhere where nobody disturbs him.

He does not think that he is able to drive him in his state, so he decides to go down to the autopsy. Ducky must have been gone by now, if not he might be a good listener. Just as he walks towards the slide doors, they open up and Ducks stands right in front of him. He has his coat on and his briefcase in his hands. Tony just stands there with the letter in his hands and Ducky instantly puts off his coat as he sees Tony's facial expression. By that movement Tony is torn out of his trance and quickly mumbles something like "No Ducky…it's fine…go home", not wanting Ducky to change his plans because of him. Ducky is used to the try of blocking out all the problems and what damage it can do to not talk about it, so he says: "Obviously it's not fine…something is bothering you and you came down here to be alone or to talk to me…since talking is always the better option to get rid of the problems, we can do that right now…" Tony knows that it is senseless to argue and actually he wants to talk. Ducky shifts the chair and motions for Tony to sit down.

"So…what is bothering you, Anthony?", Ducky asks softly. For a while Tony is unable to say anything and he just looks down at the letter in his hands. He doesn't know how to explain the things to Ducky. Nobody knows what happened in Israel and that he left the love of his life behind. For the others it just seems like he lost a good friend and his partner, but they're wrong. Ducky guesses that all this has something to do with the beautiful Israeli woman, so he asks, while motioning to the letter: "Is that from Ziva?" Tony looks down again and answers almost inaudible: "Yes…" As he says the next words, he looks directly into Ducky's eyes and Ducky can see the truth written all over Tony's face: "I love her…" Ducky can't help but smile at this confession, because he always knew that the two partners have feelings for each other.. they were just to anxious to actually see it. He senses that Tony has more to say, so he does not interrupt and just waits. "I love her with all my heart, but…I left her…I had to…she wanted to start over, wanted to break apart from everything that reminds her of the past…but it hurts so much…I don't know if I'll ever see her again, if she's still alive or if she knows how I feel…"

Ducky's heart almost breaks at the sight of Tony being so desperate and sad. He asks: "Have you told her?", not really sure what else to say. Tony never gets emotional and he does not want him to back off now. He knows how important it is to talk, otherwise it is going to destroy you sooner or later. As Tony answers, he looks into nowhere and for a short moment there is a small smile o his face. "Not really, Ducky…." Ducky instantly knows what must have happened and it was damn time. He sighs and then says something very wise: "Oh dear…Love seems to be a complicated thing. Nobody can explain why we fall in love or why we love this one person…They all say love can never be understood, but actually it's the most simple thing in the world…love has existed since there is human being and it has survived every war and every disaster…People can't find an explanation, because there is none. Love is the most powerful emotion in the world and people will never be able to invent something that has the power to destroy this emotion…they don't know how it works, so they can't destroy it…You just fall for somebody and you would do everything to make that person happy…you never give up and you will always fight for that special person…no matter what…" With this words, Ducky walks towards the exit. He knows that Tony has to think now, so there is nothing else he can do that leaving him alone. The doors open with a hiss and just as before they close again, Ducky says: "Remember my words, Tony…and…make her happy!"

For the next ten minutes, Tony just sits there thinking about those words and trying to figure out what to do. He can't just go back to Israel and search for her again. Gibbs would never give the permission to do that, to say nothing about Vance, but he also knows that Ducky is right….Suddenly the doors open again and Tony expects to see Ducky standing there in the low light, but instead he can't believe his eyes. For a moment he thinks he is dreaming, but as soon as the person starts to walk towards him, he knows he's not. Unbelievingly Tony whispers the most beautiful name in the world "Ziva" and would like nothing better than to run towards her, hug her and never let her go again. In the same voice as Tony, Ziva whispers his name and her face comes to an rest only a few inches away from his. Tony takes in a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Ziva. Oh god, how he missed that smell… For a moment they just look at each other and their eyes lock again, like usually. Tony wants to know why Ziva is here – not that he is not happy about it – but before he has the chance to ask his question, he feels Ziva's lips on his.

Tony is taken by surprise, so it takes him a moment to realizes what is happening. Just as Ziva is about to pull away, because he does not respond, he reacts and pulls her even closer to his body. It has been so long and he wanted this to happen since he got into that plane in Israel, that he does not break the kiss until the need for air is too strong. As they pull apart and he sees the smile on Ziva's face, it feels like he can breathe again, like he is whole again. he tries to see how she is feeling and finds almost the same emotions as he has, but there is also something else. While stroking her cheek, Tony asks softly: "What is it, sweetcheeks?" At this nickname, Ziva cannot help but smile, but gets serious as she starts to explain: "It's just…I…I need to know if you meant what you said!?" Tony looks at her, not quite sure what she means, so she says: "To Ducky…" Slowly Tony realizes that she must have heard their conversation and he answers honestly: "Every word, Ziva…every word…" She can see the truth in eyes and she smiles at him.

"Did you mean what you wrote?", Tony asks, referring to the letter. He needs to know that they're on the same page. Ziva just smiles to herself and says: "Do you remember when we were here, five years ago? After Jenny died?" Tony slowly nods and Ziva sees the sadness wash over his face. She knows that he still blames himself for her death, but it wasn't his fault. She continues: "Remember when we talked about Gibbs and Jenny? That it must have happened in Paris? You said it was inevitable and I said that nothing is inevitable…I still have this opinion…I think it was inevitable that we end up together, Tony…" Tony does not really know what she is up to, so he just says: "But we did anyway…" "Yeah…because I wanted to Tony…I want to be with you, forever and always… I love you and I never want to lose you again…Does that answer your question?" By now, Tony has a big smile on his face and right now he is the happiest man in the world. "Yeah, I think it does…and…I love you too…I always have…" Ziva's smile matches Tony's as she says: "Good…because you're not getting rid of me that soon…" Tony can't believe what he just heard and he asks hopefully: "Does that means you stay?" "Yes, Tony…it does…", Ziva answers and Tony pulls her into a tight hug, having the intention of never letting her go again…

**The End**

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**This chapter is a bit longer than the first one, but I hope you like it anyway…please review, it helps me a lot…**

**"Ani Ohevet Otcha" means "I love you" in Hebrew...**


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